The Super Fantastic Eiji! Show!
by Torp
Summary: What would happen if our favorite acrobatic tennis player was a super hero? On this episode, a normal day in the land of Fuji!
1. Enter Eiji!

Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis… And I don't own Eiji… but I do own his super fantastic alter ego, Super Fantastic Eiji! I also don't own Fanta… just SUPER FANTA! Yey!!!

* * *

Narrator: Hello everyone! Thanks for reading my super fantastic fan fiction! I won't give you the super fantastic details of how this super fantastic story came to be… but I will tell you that it is (hopefully) super fantastic! Here is the super fantastic cast! 

Eiji- Super fantastic main character. Is known as Super Fantastic Eiji! Super fantastic crime fighting man!

Oishi- Super Fantastic Eiji's super fantastic sidekick, Super Fantastic Oishi! Not as cool, but still super fantastic!

Tezuka- In charge of giving the Super Fantastic Eiji his super fantastic assignments! Super fantastic in-charge guy!

Inui- Super fantastic briefing man! He tells Eiji the details of his super fantastic assignments and gives him his super fantastic new weapons and other super fantastically fun things!

Echizen- Ochibi! Super fantastic Eiji's super fantastic apprentice! Gets super fantastically captured a lot, and then is super fantastically rescued by Super Fantastic Eiji!

Momoshiro- The super fantastic giant monster that always comes to wreck super fantastic Eiji's super fantastic city! Can breathe super fantastic fire!

Fuji- The super fantastic antagonist! He's the super fantastic archenemy of super fantastic Eiji! Is super fantastically evil!

Kaido- The super fantastic evil wizard that works for super fantastically evil Fuji! Likes super fantastic snakes super fantastically!

Kawamura- Warrior who works for super fantastically evil Fuji! Can super fantastically beat people up with his super fantastic tennis racket! Super fantastic!

Super Fanta- Everyone's favorite super fantastic drink!

N- The super fantastic abbreviation of "Narrator," because I don't feel like typing it! A super fantastic way for the author to get away with being super fantastically lazy!

Person's name: - what someone super fantastically says!

(Verb, sigh, kick, ect.)- What someone super fantastically does, or is thinking!

N: Now that that is out of the way, on to the super fantastic show!

* * *

N: Hey look! It's Super Fantastic Eiji's super fantastic secret identity! 

Eiji: Whew… what a long day at… um… work?

N: Yes, Eiji, work.

Eiji: Why am I working again?

N: Because all super heroes' secret identities always have a job! Don't you watch TV?

Eiji: Oooooh…

N: And where are you're super fantastic glasses?

Eiji: I took them off because they hurt my eyes.

N: But you _need_ them! Who know when someone will make the connection between you and your super fantastic alter ego because you look alike?

Eiji: Oooooh… That's a good point… (Puts on his glasses)… whoa…

N: And why are you talking to me? You're supposed to be low profile!

Eiji: Oooookay!

N: Stop it!

(Eiji stumbles off down the street)

N: As I was saying… Super Fantastic Eiji's super fantastic identity, Kikumaru Eiji, works at the local Newspaper!

Eiji: Really? Why didn't I know that?

N: (sigh) … but there is never a time when Super Fantastic Eiji is not on alert!

**…**

N: … When Super Fantastic Eiji is not on alert!

**…**

N: … Teeeezukaaaa…

Tezuka: What?

N: (whispers) Your lines!

Tezuka: Oh… Oooooh… (Presses a button on a fake-looking prop) Kikumaru? Kikumaru!

Eiji: (looks at his communicator watch) What is it… um… Mr. Blob?

Tezuka: Kikumaru, take off your glasses.

Eiji: But the voice says to keep them on!

Tezuka: Take them off.

Eiji: But…

Tezuka: 50 laps when your mission is over.

Eiji: Mission? (Takes off glasses) Oh, hi Tezuka…I-

Tezuka: Report to headquarters.

Eiji: Headquarters? Where's…

(Tezuka hangs up)

Eiji: … that?

* * *

At headquarters 

Eiji: (quietly) How'd I get…?

Oishi: Hey… Hey, Eiji!

Eiji: (forgot what he was saying) Oishi! I'm having the weirdest day! First this voice from the sky told me to-

Oshi: Uh… Eiji? (Points to Tezuka who just sat down at a desk that neither of them noticed)

Tezuka: All right… (Makes a face that tells you he'd rather not be doing this) Our sources tell us that Fuji-

N: He hem…

Tezuka: (Cringes) … that your _super fantastic_ arch nemesis is planning to send the _super fantastic_ (flinch) beast, Momoshiro, to attack our _super fantastic_ (twitch) city. Again.

N: (in the background) Hehehe…

(Eiji is on the verge of bursting out laughing while Oishi looks very, _very_ concerned.)

Oishi: Do we know what Fuji is planning to accomplish by sending the super fantastic beast, Momoshiro, to attack our super fantastic city again?

Tezuka: (annoyed) No. All we know is that Momoshiro is going to attack us _again,_ and somehow Echizen got captured… also _again_… and-

Eiji: (gasp) Ochibi!

Oishi: Is he hurt?

Tezuka: (glares) I wouldn't know… but-

Eiji: Come, Oishi! We have to rescue the Ochibi and save our super fantastic town! (Drags Oishi off somewhere)

Tezuka: … Can I go now?

N: NO.

(Tezuka glares and tells some random person not to let anyone bother him)

* * *

(Eiji and Oishi enter a room and are greeted by a grinning Inui) 

Inui: Ah… Kikumaru… Oishi…. Just in time to try my latest…

(They run out of the room and are forced back in by a still glaring Tezuka)

Tezuka: Give them their stuff, Inui.

Inui: But… (Holds up two cups of bubbling liquid)

Tezuka: 50 laps after the mission. (Leaves)

Eiji: Nya… looks like we're running buddies, Inui!

Inui: Hmph… Okay so… (Walks away somewhere and digs through a pile of stuff) here are you're new super suits. (Holds up two uniforms)

Eiji: Yeah! (Grabs his, which is blue with red highlights and has a red cape that matches his hair, awww!. On the front are the letters S, F, E, and an exclamation point.)

Oishi: Umm… (Takes his, which is purple with yellow highlights and a yellow cape. Has the letters S, F, and O on the front) Does mine come in another color?

Inui: No. (a bad mood is setting in) No. You get purple and yellow. The end.

Oishi: Okay… (Follows a humming Eiji into the changing area, and takes a separate stall)

Eiji: Mine's a little tight…

Oishi: Mine fit fine. Do you want to trade? (Hopeful)

Eiji: Nope! Mine's pretty!

Oishi: (sigh) All right…

Inui: (tired of the complaining) Now… here are your new gadgets…

Eiji: (goes straight for his tennis racket) Oooooh!

Inui: …yes… These are strength amplifying tennis rackets. And these are… EXPLODING TENNIS BALLS!! (Laughs evilly)

Eiji: Oishi… Inui's scaring me…

Oishi: Me too, Eiji…

Inui: And here we have…

Eiji: Rocket boots! (Grabs them)

Inui: … rocket boots… (Sigh, he was getting tired of interruptions) But be careful… they're only prototypes…

Eiji: (Not listening) Ooooh… they're shiny! (Puts them on) Super Fantastic!

Oishi: (sighs too, Eiji doesn't have the maturity to be a super hero…) Yellow again…?

Inui: We only have the basic stuff… and the reason being is that I have no help! (Yells) I NEED HELPERS TO INVENT SUPER FANTASTIC THINGS!

Eiji: Super fantastic!

(Meanwhile, Tezuka stirs in his super fantastic nap)

* * *

(Later after Inui has calmed down) 

Inui: Right… so here are your balls, your tennis rackets, and a nice snack to eat on the way. (Shoves it all at them) Oh! I almost forgot… (Gives each a glass of aforementioned bubbling liquid, and pushes them out the door, into the daylight) Good luck! (Door slams)

**…**

Oishi: Um… (Stares at his cup) Eiji, you should poor it out. (Pours his onto the grass)

Eiji: (pouts) You don't need to tell me twice! (Pours his as well, and the grass instantly dies)

Oishi: What do we do now…? Inui didn't tell us how to use any of this stuff!

Eiji: We test it out, of course! (Presses a button on the shoes, which ignites the soles and lifts him up) Whoa!

Oishi: Eiji…

Eiji: (Is flying around) WEEEEE!!

Oishi: Eiji…

Eiji: (Is doing flips in the air) This is so cool!

Oishi: Eiji! (Grabs a tennis racket and hits a tennis ball at him, hoping to catch his attantion. It explodes near his head)

Eiji: (falling) NYAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Oishi: OMIGOSH! EIJI!

Eiji: (Eiji points his feet at the ground at the last second, and turns the boots off. He lands safely on the grass) What was that for, Oishi? Hoi?

Oishi: (looks like he had a stroke) S-sorry Eiji… I forgot about the exploding part… Are you okay?

Eiji: For the most part… (Flashes his super fantastic smile) That was the most awesome thing I've ever done! You should try it, Oishi!

Oishi: Maybe later… right now we have to foil Fuji's plans!

Eiji: Which are… what, again?

Oishi: … I… forgot…

**…**

Eiji: Wasn't Momo attacking the city, or something?

Oishi: (At same time) Wasn't Echizen captured?

**…**

Oishi: Lets save the city first…

Eiji: Super fantastic!

* * *

Fuji: Ahhh… It seems like my super fantastic plan is coming together! 

Kawamura: What plan was that again?

Echizen: (tied up in corner) Mada mada dane…

Kaido: Fshhh…

Fuji: He hem… Well, I'm going to destroy the city-

Kawamura: _Super fantastic_ city.

Fuji: … yes… destroy the super fantastic city and make super fantastic Eiji extremely upset!

(Somewhere else:

Eiji: (sneezes) NyAaahchu!)

Echizen: That's it? Mada mada dane…

Fuji: Well… I haven't exactly thought out the rest of the plan past destroying the city-

Kawamura: _Super fantastic_ city.

Kaido: That's very unlike you, Fuji-sempai.

Fuji: I know… but I was too preoccupied with bothering Yuuta…

Echizen: Mada mada da- (gets kicked by Kaido)

Kaido: Quit it! Fshhh….

Kawamura: Well that sounds like a good plan… (Is given a tennis racket) BURNING! GREAT-O! LETS GO!!

Kaido: I saw that! (Echizen stops cold, while trying to retie his ropes)

Echizen: Hehe… Mada mada da-

TBC!!

* * *

End notes: Hehe…I'm sorry about the Tezuka thing. I just couldn't imagine him saying Super Fantastic with a strait face! Really stupid idea… but I just HAD to write this thing. Kyu! So review it if you want, and I'd really appreciate some constructive criticism! (peace sign) Don't forget to be Super Fantastic! 


	2. When Momo attacks!

Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis. If I did, it would be a stupid show full of humor that that isn't very funny, and people would abandon it all together. If I owned Prince of Tennis, this whole category would be deleted and Prince of Tennis would just be a scar in people's memories. And we don't want that to happen now… do we?

Author Notes: Geeze… how depressing! Yes… Well this chapter will be weird. But then again, wasn't the last chapter a bit weird too?

* * *

(At the city, we pass many familiar faces)

Yuuta: I'm Yuuta! How many times do I have to tell you?!?

Niou: Fuji's brother? (Innocent grin)

Yuuta: NO! No, No, _No_! Yuuta! Yuuuuuutaaa!

Niou: Fuji…?

Yuuta: **NO**!!!

**…**

Mizuki: Ahh! That purple shirt is so adorable! I must have it!

Yanagisawa: Why are you telling me, da ne? Why am I even here, da ne?

(Mizuki ignores him and storms into the store, ordering a random salesgirl to get him the shirt in the window)

**…**

Akaya: I crush you! (Steps on a bug) Mwahahaha!!! (Steps on more bugs) Crush you, crush you, crush you! (Step, step, step)

**…**

Shinji: Finally (spots grip tape). Finally they have my grip tape. I can't believe last time Echizen took it from me. And I paid for that too. He took my grip tape- hey!

Sengoku: (takes the last grip tape off the shelf) Umm… heheh… I guess I'm lucky today!

Shinji: You took my grip tape. I can't believe you took my grip tape. This happened before, you know, with Echizen Ryoma. I bet you're in league with him. I bet you and him are trying to steal all the grip tape in the world so people won't have any. Too bad I know your secret. I know your plan to-

Sengoku: You know what? Just take it! (Walks away)

Shinji: Where are you going? Off to take more grip tape from me? I'll stop your plan. I know what your up to. I-

**…**

Shinji: It's really rude to leave while someone is talking. That's really not nice, and it hurts my feelings. Do you know how many times people do that to me? What ever happened to being polite while someone speaks? Apparently no one cares what I have to say. No one ever sticks around to hear what I'm saying. Except Kamio does. And Tachibana-buchou, too. But that's because they're nice and-

**…**

(A Godzilla-like Momoshiro steps on a building that, miraculously, no one was in.)

Momo: Ow… oops… (Knocks over another building) Um… (Turns around and collapses more buildings) Dang… I didn't think being a giant lizard would be so confusing… (He spots a fast food restaurant, forgets what he was doing, and runs to it knocking over still more buildings in the process)

Fast Food Girl (FFG): Hello! May I take your order?

Momo: Yeah… um… can I have forty cheeseburgers, half with mayo, half with catsup, twenty orders of fries, thirty cokes, ten onion rings…

FFG: Anything else?

Momo: Yeah… um… also thirty-three burgers with mustard, and thirty-seven without.

FFG: Okay so… That's forty cheese burgers, half with mustard, half with catsup, twenty orders of fries, thirty cokes, ten onion rings, thirty-three burgers with mayo and thirty-seven without?

Momo: No… forty cheese burgers, half with **_mayo_**, half with catsup, twenty orders of fries, thirty cokes, ten onion rings, thirty-three burgers with **_mustard _**and thirty-seven without.

FFG: Oooooh… so that's forty cheese burgers, half with mayo, half with catsup, twenty orders of fries, thirty cokes, ten onion rings, thirty-three burgers with mustardand thirty-seven without?

Momo: Yeah… that sounds about right.

FFG: That'll be a clean $1500.

Momo: Uh… (Reaches for his wallet in his pocket, but is met by scales) It seems I've left my wallet in my pants, which I am apparently not wearing.

FFG: … what?

Momo: Uh… oh this is embarrassing… how about as payment I don't eat you, and I don't crush your establishment?

FFG: I'll have to ask the manager. Please hold.

**…**

(A short man runs out of the building, and stares at Momo)

Momo: (Grin) Hello, sir!

(The man runs screaming back into the fast food restaurant)

**…**

FFG: The manager says it's a deal. Pull over to the pickup window, please.

Momo: Ah! Thanks!

Eiji: (from the sky) Not so fast, evil do-er!

Momo: Huh… what? (Turns around, knocking over the burger place) Eiji-sempai??

Eiji: That's Super Fantastic Eiji-sempai to you!

Oishi: (runs up) And I'm… (Pant) Super fantastic… (Pant) Oishi… (Faints)

Eiji: Are you harassing that humble yet greasy and disgusting establishment?

Momo: No… actually I was just buying a few burgers…

Eiji: Oh… um… did you… destroy those buildings over there? (Points)

Momo: Uh… Yes… but that was an accident…

Eiji: Oh! Well…

**…**

Eiji: Can you… uh… leave, then?

Momo: No… No, I don't think I can…

Eiji: Oh…

**…**

Eiji: Can I ask why?

Momo: Why what?

Eiji: Why you can't leave.

Momo: Oh! Well, Fuji told me to stay in the city-

Eiji: _Super fantastic_ city.

Momo: Right…

**…**

Eiji: D-do you have… the odd feeling this has happened… before?

Momo: Exactly! I was trying to place it…

Eiji: I think it was the last time Fuji sent you to attack the super fantastic city, and I chased you out.

Momo: I was actually thinking of the time before that…

Eiji: Or the time before _that_…

Momo: Hey… do you remember that time when I slammed you into that building in our first fight?

Eiji: Yeah… Remember the force of the impact made it collapse?

Momo: Yeah! That was so awesome!

Eiji: Oh! And that time when you knocked over all those buildings when I punched you in out third fight?

Momo: The time we went out for Pizza…

Eiji: Remember when you stepped on Kamio?

Momo: Yeah, he kept bothering me… He went to the hospital, right?

Eiji: Yep! And he made a full recovery!

Momo: WHAT? I stepped on him! **_Stepped on him_**! And he made a full recovery?

Eiji: It is a kid's show, after all, Momo.

Momo: Well it's not a show… per say… more like a teenaged girl's crazy fantasy…

N: _Follow the script! _

Momo: Sheesh… I wonder where he is right now?

Eiji: Who?

Momo: Kamio!

Kamio: **_STUPD BIKE-STEALING MONSTER! First you steal my bike, and then you steal An, then you step on me! What did I ever do to- _**

(Eiji hits an exploding Tennis ball at him, and Momo breathes his Super Fantastic fire.)

Kamio: -**YOU?!?** (Goes flying)

All: YEY!!

Shinji: Hey… you burned my friend! What's you burn him? You did it on purpose, didn't you? Now I have to take him to the hospital, and Tachibana-buchou is going to be upset because we won't be able to practice Tennis and we won't be able to play any-

Tachibana: (pop-out-of-nowhere) Shinji…

Shinji: (Blank-eyed) Yessss Tachibana-san… (Drags Kamio off to the hospital)

Eiji: Aaaannyway…

Momo: (Pondering) Oh! Remember that time I set your hair on fire??

Eiji: … what?

Momo: Aw, you don't remember? It was in our fourth fight, and I set your hair on fire with my super fantastic fiery-breath!

Eiji: (his eyes do an Akaya-like transformation) Oh… hehehe…. Right… (gropes for his Tennis racket)

Momo: Hehe… (Oblivious) You where screaming like a little girl until Oishi put you out…

Eiji: Yesss…. (Holds his racket menacingly)

Momo: Hahaha!! Ha ha… ha… ha-Eiji-sempai what're you doing?? What're you do-AUGH!!!

(Insert long fight-scene in where Eiji defeats Momoshiro in a very bloody battle, which we are not allowed to show you. Why? Because this is a kid's show! Remember? Anyways, Eiji wins.)

Oishi: Eiji! That was an amazing, but horribly gruesome and bloody battle! I'm not sure I approve of your method, but at least you vanquished the super fantastic fiend!

Eiji: (bad tempered) Yeah, yeah, yeah… (is, strangely enough, perfectly clean) Wait… when did you wake up, Nya?

Oishi: Just before you used your tennis racket like a boomerang.

Eiji: (pondering) Was that before or after I threw that building at him?

Oishi: Hmm… Must have been after, because I don't remember that part…

Eiji: Right! Well, lets go rescue the Ochibi!

Oishi: Yeah!

(They fly off into the sunset, leaving behind a half-destroyed, yet ENTIRELY SAFE city)

* * *

(Back at Fuji's Fortress-thing)

Now human Momoshiro: (after explaining what happened) … and that's what happened.

Fuji: Oh, drat! (Opens eyes momentarily, then smiles) Oh well! We'll get him next time.

Kaido: Fshh… Next time?

Fuji: Well, sure! I'll keep trying until I reach my goal! (Heroic pose and happy music)

Echizen: Stupid optimistic kid shows… Mada mada dane…

Momo: Oy! Echizen shut up! (Kicks Echizen)

Kaido: Fshhh… that's my job! (Kicks Momoshiro)

Momo: You shut up too, baka Mamushi!

Kaido: I'm not the one who lost to a pansy in tights, baka!

(Eiji: (sneezes) NyAaahchu!!

Oishi: Are you coming down with something?)

Momo: At least I tried, baka!

Kawamura: Please! This is a children's show!

Momo and Kaido: Shut up, baka-sempai!

(Kawamura sulks and sits in a corner, while Momo and Kaido fight some more)

Fuji: Okay… where'd it go...? Ah! Here we go… (Pushes a few numbers on his huge, gigantic, generic evil villain communicator TV/computer) This should be the number of the Super Fantastic League of Super Fantastic Things…

Kaido: BAKA!

Momo: BAKA!

Fuji: … (twitch) SHUT UP!! I'm on the phone!

Momo and Kaido: Sorry super fantastically evil Fuji-sempai.

(The SFLSFT picks up)

Tezuka: (to random secretary lady) What…? Wha… Who? Who's calling?!!?

Fuji: Guess who, Tezuka?

Tezuka: … Oh for the love of Pete…

Fuji: Who's Pete? Is he someone I should know about?

Tezuka: … Why did you call this time, Fuji?

Fuji: I just called to say that, though my super fantastic monster failed to wreck the city-

Kawamura: _Super fantastic_ city.

Kaido: HA! FAILED!

Momo: Baka!

Fuji: …Super fantastic city, I will not be deterred! I won't give up! I won't-

Tezuka: The point, if you please?

Fuji: Um… well… your super fantastic heroes will never defeat me, and I've finished your book and I'm ready to return it.

Tezuka: … (hangs up)

Fuji: Well… that was pleasant!

Echizen: (Has untied himself, and is drinking a Fanta) Mada mada dane…

TBC!!

* * *

End Notes: The Inspiration Bunnies! They took over my body and wrote this chapter! I'm surprised I managed to get this down… The Doom Kitty of Distraction kept trying to get me to stop typing. BUT I WAS NOT DETERRED! Believe it or not, deterred is a real word. That was surprising… Well, I hope you enjoyed the cameos! 


	3. The battle of the 'ji's!

Disclaimer: I no own TeniPuri! (Dances)

Author Notes: Yaaaayyy!! The end of the story Arch! Or is it the end of the story? Who knows? Who _cares_?

* * *

Fuji: (pacing back and forth) What's taking them so long?

Kawamura: What's taking who so long?

Fuji: _Super Fantastic Eiji!_ and his super fantastic side-kick Super Fantastic Oishi!

Kawamura: OooOoooh…

Momo: (Playing tennis with Echizen) Maybe they got lost?

Kaido: (refereeing) Baka! They've been here a million times before! 15 – love to Echizen!

Echizen: (pulls his hat down) Mada mada dane…

Kaido: I mean… we've invited them for tea and crumpets, for Pete's sake!

Fuji: There's that Pete again. (Vexes) He must be trying to sabotage me…

Momo: Maybe you're right, but why else would the not be here yet?

* * *

(Somewhere else, under a tree, a lone figure walks up)

Jiroh: (spots Oishi and Eiji sleeping under the tree) Those guys have the right idea! (Sits down and goes to sleep)

Eiji: Snore!

Oishi: Not the razor…

Jiroh: _Bunnies_… (Rolls over)

* * *

(Much sleep, a few tennis games, and many trips to the vending machine later)

Eiji: (Punches through a wall that fell over way too easily) Everyone freeze in the name of Justice! Hand over the Ochibi and no one will get hurt!

Momo: Finally! We've been waiting forever for y-

Eiji: (points his racket at him like a gun) I said freeze!! Hand over the Ochibi!

Kaido: Kikumaru-sempai-

Eiji: NYAA!! You're not supposed to know it's me!!

Kaido: (sigh) Okay then, Super Fantastic Eiji… sempai… Fsh, how are we supposed to give you Echizen if you won't let us move?

Eiji: … what?

Kaido: I said how are we supposed to-

Eiji: Be quite, please! (Points his racket at him) Oishi… they're confusing me! … Oishi…?

* * *

(Somewhere else, Mission Impossible themed)

Music: Dun dun, duh-duh, dun dun, _duh-duh_…

(Oishi is pushing himself through the air vents)

Dun dun, duh-dun, dun dun…

(He drops down into the basement of the fortress thing)

Oishi: Okay…where's the fuse box? … Ah! (Opens it and takes off the covering UN-covering the wires. He also pulls a pair of wire cutters out of no-where. Remind you of anything, Shishido? Huh? HUH?!?!??) Okay… so is it the red wire? Or the blue wire? Red wire… blue wire… red wire… blue wire… (Clippers hover over the two wires) Red wire? Blue wire? Red wire… blue wire… _Red wire or blue wire_?!?!? Or is it… Green wire?!?!?! NOOOOO!!!! (Closes eyes and clips a random wire)

* * *

(Back in the main floor, Eiji is playing Tennis with Kaido while everyone else watches)

Momo: Hey, Fuji-sempai. I bet ten burgers on Eiji winning.

Fuji: I'll take that bet, Momo-chan. (yells) Kaido, you better win or you're fired!!

Kaido: (Sweat drops) Fshhh…

(All the lights go out)

Eiji: You guys have a bad electrical system… (Throws the Tennis ball somewhere)

Momo: (ball hits him) Ow!

Eiji: Oh, sorry… Ochibi-chan?

Echizen: Mada mada dane…

Fuji: (Snaps) Kaido! Light!!

Kaido: Do you want me to say "Usu" now, too? (Lights his evil generic wizard staff-thing that is somewhere in the fortress that is not the place where most of the inhabitants are currently inhabiting)

Momo: Well, that was pointless.

Kaido: Fshh!! Shut UP! (Lights his tennis racket)

Eiji: Oh! Oh! Light mine too! (Jumps up and down)

Kaido: (protesting) FSHH! (Lights it anyway)

Eiji: CoOoOoOoOoL!! (Waves it around)

Oishi: (climbing up the stairs) Psst… Eiji!

Eiji: Whoa! (Writes his name in the air)

Oishi: _Eiji_… EIJI! (Grabs him)

Eiji: NYAAAAA!!! (Throws his racket)

Oishi: Eiji! It's me! I killed the power! Grab Echizen, and we'll esca-

Fuji: He-hem… (Holds Eiji's racket under his face with the light shining up)

Oishi: -pe…? Heheh… heh… heh… RUN FOR IT! (Runs for it)

Fuji: Oh, I was hoping he'd stay for dinner…

Eiji: Heheheh… sorry for my partner… you just look… um… _really scary_… with the light n'all… (Trails off) I'll just take the Ochibi… and-

Fuji: Oh, you weren't thinking of LEAVING, were you? (Snaps)

Kaido: (annoyed) I should join a Union… (Grabs Eiji, while Momo runs after Oishi)

Fuji: You're not leaving until we have some FUN!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Momo: (Pulling Oishi back) Oooh! What kind of fun, Fuji-sempai??

Fuji: Mweeheehee… well… I was thinking we could…

All: (leaning in) Yeeeeessssss…?

Fuji: I was thinking we could have a party!!

(Happy Fiesta music plays)

All: HO-RAY!!

(They party the rest of the day, and have many many glasses of fruit punch and many pieces of potpie. Eventually the power got fixed, so they turned on Fuji's huge gigantic generic evil villain TV/Computer/Stereo of DOOM, and danced until they felt like not dancing anymore. There were many games, including Twister™, and Pin-the-Tail-on-Echizen! Then, like all good things, the party came to an end.)

Eiji: Well, that was really fun!

Oishi: Yes, but we have to be going now.

Fuji: Oh, well I hope you come back for dinner next week!

Eiji: Sure! See you later, Nya!

Momo: Wait! You forgot your Echizen!

Echizen: (walks out) _Mada. Mada. DANE!_

Fuji: Bye bye! See you next time I try to take over the city!

Kawamura: _Super fantastic_ city!

Fuji/Momo/Kaido: AHHH!!

Fuji: I'm sorry, Taka-san! I forgot you were here!

Kawamura: I wasn't!

Momo/Kaido: You weren't??

Kawamura: Nope! I was getting…

All: (leaning in) Yeeeeessssss…?

Kawamura: I was getting sushi!! (Pulls out a big palate of sushi)

All: YAAAAYY!!

(And so the bad guys lived happily eating sushi forever and ever. Or at least until the next episode of the Super Fantastic Eiji! Show!

* * *

End notes: WEEEEE!!! Crappy ending, but WHO CARES!!! Hehehe!! It was funny when I was writing it!

Well, now the question is… do I continue the show? Or will it get canceled? I promise there will be at least one new chapter, because this one is so short. If I do decide to continue it, then there will be a surprise appearance of a new super hero! Ho-RAY! Also, a new villain, too!

I am also thinking about changing to a more traditional writing style, instead of using the script form.XD Comments are appreciated!


	4. A day with Fuji!

Whoo-who! (Coughs) Gah, I sick… -.-'' But I deliver you SFES Anyways! Ho-ray!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fila, Prince of Tennis, or Fanta!

And now for something entirely different! (Not really, but it sounded good, right?)

* * *

In a fortress, just outside of the super fantastic city, there lived a villain. He was, of course, and EVIL villain, but you probably already knew that so there was really no point in telling you that.

The villain is currently in his sleeping quarters in his evil fortress. What was he is doing in there, none could tell. Was he plotting evil plots? Was he laughing manically at his evil plots? Was he ordering his henchmen to carry out his evil plots? I'll tell you right now that, no, he was not doing any of those evil things. He was, in fact, reading an evil, wicked, and very addicting book.

"No, Patricia! Don't kiss him! He's you're husband's long lost twin brother who lost his memory and came in search of people who could return it! NOOO!!!

Much to the Annoyance of his henchmen, the evil genius that occupied the fortress apparently didn't have enough brains to know that yelling at a book to stop what it was saying will **NOT **make the letters magically get up and rearrange themselves to fit the will of the reader. And if they did, I'm positively sure that the words would not appreciate being yelled at, and thus ignore the reader all together. The TV won't listen to you either, so stop trying, all of you!

"Gah! She did it! She kissed him! I can't believe it…" Fuji said, opening his sparkling blue eyes in amazement, "She… no! Not her husband! He's coming, Patricia, run! He's going to catch you two together!" Despite the bad predicament of the heroine, his grin was incredibly wide.

Suddenly, a knock came from the door! It was a hard knock that, of all things, was followed by _another knock_! Who could it be?

"Who is it?" Fuji said, irritably. He had just reached the best part! "What do you want?"

"Kuwamura Takashi…" The person behind the door said, nervously, "I've come to tell you that-"

Fuji opened the door of his room.

"What?"

"What, what?" Kuwamura answered, puzzled, "My name, or-"

"What are you doing here?" Fuji asked, slowly opening his eyes, which didn't accomplish anything other than making the poor boy in front of him even more nervous.

"Uh… um… I…"

"Spit it out!" Fuji commanded.

"You're late for your appointment with Echizen!" Kuwamura spit out.

"Oh!" Fuji said, brightly, "Oh, thank you!"

Kuwamura sighed with relief, and continued, "I don't think he's going to be very happy. Remember last time when he-"

Fuji opened hi9s eyes and glared.

"OhlookmycookiesareonfireIbettergoputthemoutokaybye!" Kuwamura ran down the hall, as fast as his legs could run down the hall.

Fuji blinked, and then he shrugged. His henchmen could be so jumpy some times. He walked in the opposite direction, down the hall to the stairs. They didn't have elevators, because a certain evil villain felt that running up and down the stairs all day was good for your legs,

"And it firms the buttocks!" Fuji has said, and the henchmen were disturbed.

At this moment, however, Fuji was regretting his "No elevators, EVER!" policy. "Seventh floor, sixth floor, six-and-a-half floor…" Fuji mumbled as he made his way down the stairs, "Five-and-a-fifth floor, four-and-seven-sixteenth floor, fourth floor …"

Finally! The first floor, otherwise known as the Lobby! Fuji silently threw a party in his head, confetti, balloons, and cake included. Regretting that he was already somewhat late, and had no time to throw a real party, Fuji sauntered out the front door.

"Hey… hey Fuji-sempai!" A voice yelled from behind him.

Fuji turned around to face Momoshiro. Momo, as he was so often called, had the unique ability to turn himself into a giant city-leveling monster whenever Fuji felt like having a city leveled. Currently, Momo was running at him, pointing wildly at the sign above Fuji's front door that read F ' vil air. What? F ' vil air?

"The lights are out," Momoshiro stated.

"Well that's just super fantastic," Fuji said, rolling his eyes behind his eyelids.

"No, I think it's bad…" Momo said, ignoring Fuji's sarcasm.

"Let Kaido handle it!" Fuji said exasperatedly.

"I can't find him!"

"Did you use your communicator watch?

"Ye…! Wait… no…"

Fuji was beginning to get annoyed. He rolled his eyes again. Why did he hire Momo? Oh, wait… yeah…

Fuji snapped his fingers, and grinned, "Momo go attack the city!"

"Right-O!" Momo said, and ran off to go transform into his city-leveling form.

"Kaido?" Fuji said into his communicator watch that he "borrowed" from The Super Fantastic League of Super Fantastic Things' lab, "Kaido, I need you outside to fix the Evil lair sign."

"Fshhh…" Came the watch's response. Some would have said that it was malfunctioning, but Fuji knew that the ominous hissing came from none other than Kaido, his evil wizard-like henchmen who could do such things as light Kuwamura's cookies on fire! As a matter of fact, he was currently hiding from Kuwamura, who had somehow obtained a spatula and was waving it around chasing Kaido to avenge his burnt cookies, "Yes Fuji-sempai, but I-"

"Good," Fuji said happily, and ignoring the distressed note in Kaido's voice, "I expect it to be done by the time I get back from my meeting with Echizen!"

"FSSSSHHH!!!" Kaido hissed into his watch.

In the background, there was a loud crashing sound and then a "BURNING COOKIES! GREAT-O VENGANCE!!"

"Thank you dearly, Kaido!" Fuji said, and turned off his watch. He looked at the sky and noted, "It's a nice, clear day…"

He started humming and skipped down the street until he reached the SFLSFT headquarters, which happed to be located just down the street. Fuji had been there many times before, talking to Tezuka, borrowing books (and, occasionally, Echizen), sabotaging Inui's inventions…

He grinned and walked right by the SFLSFT's idiot guards in the lobby. He got on to the elevator with no problem, and made his way up to the living quarters floor of the SFLSFT. When he got there, he was greeted by the greeter, whom he asked which room was Echizen's.

"Oh! That annoying little kid?" The greeter asked, "Why do you want to see him?"

"He owes me money!" Fuji exclaimed proudly. It had taken him all night to think up _that _genius excuse.

"How much?" The greeter, lets call him Tom, asked.

"Two Fanta's worth."

"Ah. I can understand that. He's always asking me for money. Why just the other day…"

Fuji nodded politely while Tom rambled on in a ramble that could equal Shinji's rambling.

"That kid can drink Fanta like-"

"Which room is his?"

"Oh, sorry. I got carried away there… now lets see… which room is his? They keep changing him around because that evil Fuji fella keeps kidnapping him… lets see here… room 173. Walk down the hall, take the first left, then a right, and you'll see his room."

"Thank you, sir," Fuji said, glad to get away. He walked down the hall, took the first left, and then a right. When he found the door, he knocked twice and opened it.

"Mada mada dane," Echizen said has he entered, "If you're going to capture me, at least do it on time."

"Well, I was reading this really good book, and…"

"Save it," Echizen said, bulling his Fila hat down over his eyes. He walked out the door, and Fuji followed, smiling as always.

So down the elevators, out the front door, and up the street they went. When they reached Fuji's lair, they met Kaido who was fixing the Lair sign, just as Fuji told him to. It currently read Fu i's vil lair.

"Fuji's villair," Echizen remarked, "That really rolls off the tongue…"

Kaido glared and willed with all his might that Echizen would burst into flames. Ryoma didn't, because Echizen spontaneously combusting would probably force me to raise the rating to PG. Nobody wants that now, do we? Also, it was about this time that the author reminded Kaido that this is a kid's show, and that you should never will death on anybody, ever, because it might give the kids watching at home bad ideas!

"Kaido, make sure the last two letters are fixed by the time my Super fantastic nemesis gets here," Fuji commanded.

"Fshhh…" Came Kaido's usual response.

Inside the evil fortress, Fuji offered Echizen a seat. As soon as he sat down, Fuji began tying him to it.

"Are you hungry, Echizen? It's about 1 o'clock, right? I'm sorry I was late, but I was just so caught up in my book that I totally forgot!"

"Yad-" Echizen started, but Fuji took his open mouth as a nice opportunity to gag him.

"It really is a nice book, you know. It's the story of a girl who…" And he proceeded to repeat the whole book to Echizen, ignoring his muffled complaints. When he finished, he raced back up the stairs and continued where he left off in his book.

"No, Patricia!"

And, as we know, Momoshiro was defeated, Echizen was rescued, and Fuji eventually got to throw his party.

THE END!

* * *

End notes: This stated when I was discussing with a friend (Morino Wakaba) about how in the SFES Fuji kidnaps Echizen SO often, that he pretty much expects it. Really random and pointless topic, but I had fun writing it. CHA! 


End file.
